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huck_finn.txt
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The Project Gutenberg EBook of Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, Complete
by Mark Twain (Samuel Clemens)
This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with almost
no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or re-use
it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included with this
eBook or online at www.gutenberg.net
Title: Adventures of Huckleberry Finn, Complete
Author: Mark Twain (Samuel Clemens)
Release Date: August 20, 2006 [EBook #76]
Last Updated: April 18, 2015]
Language: English
*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK HUCKLEBERRY FINN ***
Produced by David Widger
ADVENTURES
OF
HUCKLEBERRY FINN
(Tom Sawyer's Comrade)
By Mark Twain
Complete
CONTENTS.
CHAPTER I. Civilizing Huck.--Miss Watson.--Tom Sawyer Waits.
CHAPTER II. The Boys Escape Jim.--Torn Sawyer's Gang.--Deep-laid Plans.
CHAPTER III. A Good Going-over.--Grace Triumphant.--"One of Tom Sawyers's
Lies".
CHAPTER IV. Huck and the Judge.--Superstition.
CHAPTER V. Huck's Father.--The Fond Parent.--Reform.
CHAPTER VI. He Went for Judge Thatcher.--Huck Decided to Leave.--Political
Economy.--Thrashing Around.
CHAPTER VII. Laying for Him.--Locked in the Cabin.--Sinking the
Body.--Resting.
CHAPTER VIII. Sleeping in the Woods.--Raising the Dead.--Exploring the
Island.--Finding Jim.--Jim's Escape.--Signs.--Balum.
CHAPTER IX. The Cave.--The Floating House.
CHAPTER X. The Find.--Old Hank Bunker.--In Disguise.
CHAPTER XI. Huck and the Woman.--The Search.--Prevarication.--Going to
Goshen.
CHAPTER XII. Slow Navigation.--Borrowing Things.--Boarding the Wreck.--The
Plotters.--Hunting for the Boat.
CHAPTER XIII. Escaping from the Wreck.--The Watchman.--Sinking.
CHAPTER XIV. A General Good Time.--The Harem.--French.
CHAPTER XV. Huck Loses the Raft.--In the Fog.--Huck Finds the Raft.--Trash.
CHAPTER XVI. Expectation.--A White Lie.--Floating Currency.--Running by
Cairo.--Swimming Ashore.
CHAPTER XVII. An Evening Call.--The Farm in Arkansaw.--Interior
Decorations.--Stephen Dowling Bots.--Poetical Effusions.
CHAPTER XVIII. Col. Grangerford.--Aristocracy.--Feuds.--The
Testament.--Recovering the Raft.--The Wood--pile.--Pork and Cabbage.
CHAPTER XIX. Tying Up Day--times.--An Astronomical Theory.--Running a
Temperance Revival.--The Duke of Bridgewater.--The Troubles of Royalty.
CHAPTER XX. Huck Explains.--Laying Out a Campaign.--Working the
Camp--meeting.--A Pirate at the Camp--meeting.--The Duke as a Printer.
CHAPTER XXI. Sword Exercise.--Hamlet's Soliloquy.--They Loafed Around
Town.--A Lazy Town.--Old Boggs.--Dead.
CHAPTER XXII. Sherburn.--Attending the Circus.--Intoxication in the
Ring.--The Thrilling Tragedy.
CHAPTER XXIII. Sold.--Royal Comparisons.--Jim Gets Home-sick.
CHAPTER XXIV. Jim in Royal Robes.--They Take a Passenger.--Getting
Information.--Family Grief.
CHAPTER XXV. Is It Them?--Singing the "Doxologer."--Awful Square--Funeral
Orgies.--A Bad Investment .
CHAPTER XXVI. A Pious King.--The King's Clergy.--She Asked His
Pardon.--Hiding in the Room.--Huck Takes the Money.
CHAPTER XXVII. The Funeral.--Satisfying Curiosity.--Suspicious of
Huck,--Quick Sales and Small.
CHAPTER XXVIII. The Trip to England.--"The Brute!"--Mary Jane Decides to
Leave.--Huck Parting with Mary Jane.--Mumps.--The Opposition Line.
CHAPTER XXIX. Contested Relationship.--The King Explains the Loss.--A
Question of Handwriting.--Digging up the Corpse.--Huck Escapes.
CHAPTER XXX. The King Went for Him.--A Royal Row.--Powerful Mellow.
CHAPTER XXXI. Ominous Plans.--News from Jim.--Old Recollections.--A Sheep
Story.--Valuable Information.
CHAPTER XXXII. Still and Sunday--like.--Mistaken Identity.--Up a Stump.--In
a Dilemma.
CHAPTER XXXIII. A Nigger Stealer.--Southern Hospitality.--A Pretty Long
Blessing.--Tar and Feathers.
CHAPTER XXXIV. The Hut by the Ash Hopper.--Outrageous.--Climbing the
Lightning Rod.--Troubled with Witches.
CHAPTER XXXV. Escaping Properly.--Dark Schemes.--Discrimination in
Stealing.--A Deep Hole.
CHAPTER XXXVI. The Lightning Rod.--His Level Best.--A Bequest to
Posterity.--A High Figure.
CHAPTER XXXVII. The Last Shirt.--Mooning Around.--Sailing Orders.--The
Witch Pie.
CHAPTER XXXVIII. The Coat of Arms.--A Skilled Superintendent.--Unpleasant
Glory.--A Tearful Subject.
CHAPTER XXXIX. Rats.--Lively Bed--fellows.--The Straw Dummy.
CHAPTER XL. Fishing.--The Vigilance Committee.--A Lively Run.--Jim Advises
a Doctor.
CHAPTER XLI. The Doctor.--Uncle Silas.--Sister Hotchkiss.--Aunt Sally in
Trouble.
CHAPTER XLII. Tom Sawyer Wounded.--The Doctor's Story.--Tom
Confesses.--Aunt Polly Arrives.--Hand Out Them Letters .
CHAPTER THE LAST. Out of Bondage.--Paying the Captive.--Yours Truly, Huck
Finn.
ILLUSTRATIONS.
The Widows
Moses and the "Bulrushers"
Miss Watson
Huck Stealing Away
They Tip-toed Along
Jim
Tom Sawyer's Band of Robbers
Huck Creeps into his Window
Miss Watson's Lecture
The Robbers Dispersed
Rubbing the Lamp
! ! ! !
Judge Thatcher surprised
Jim Listening
"Pap"
Huck and his Father
Reforming the Drunkard
Falling from Grace
The Widows
Moses and the "Bulrushers"
Miss Watson
Huck Stealing Away
They Tip-toed Along
Jim
Tom Sawyer's Band of Robbers
Huck Creeps into his Window
Miss Watson's Lecture
The Robbers Dispersed
Rubbing the Lamp
! ! ! !
Judge Thatcher surprised
Jim Listening
"Pap"
Huck and his Father
Reforming the Drunkard
Falling from Grace
Getting out of the Way
Solid Comfort
Thinking it Over
Raising a Howl
"Git Up"
The Shanty
Shooting the Pig
Taking a Rest
In the Woods
Watching the Boat
Discovering the Camp Fire
Jim and the Ghost
Misto Bradish's Nigger
Exploring the Cave
In the Cave
Jim sees a Dead Man
They Found Eight Dollars
Jim and the Snake
Old Hank Bunker
"A Fair Fit"
"Come In"
"Him and another Man"
She puts up a Snack
"Hump Yourself"
On the Raft
He sometimes Lifted a Chicken
"Please don't, Bill"
"It ain't Good Morals"
"Oh! Lordy, Lordy!"
In a Fix
"Hello, What's Up?"
The Wreck
We turned in and Slept
Turning over the Truck
Solomon and his Million Wives
The story of "Sollermun"
"We Would Sell the Raft"
Among the Snags
Asleep on the Raft
"Something being Raftsman"
"Boy, that's a Lie"
"Here I is, Huck"
Climbing up the Bank
"Who's There?"
"Buck"
"It made Her look Spidery"
"They got him out and emptied Him"
The House
Col. Grangerford
Young Harney Shepherdson
Miss Charlotte
"And asked me if I Liked Her"
"Behind the Wood-pile"
Hiding Day-times
"And Dogs a-Coming"
"By rights I am a Duke!"
"I am the Late Dauphin"
Tail Piece
On the Raft
The King as Juliet
"Courting on the Sly"
"A Pirate for Thirty Years"
Another little Job
Practizing
Hamlet's Soliloquy
"Gimme a Chaw"
A Little Monthly Drunk
The Death of Boggs
Sherburn steps out
A Dead Head
He shed Seventeen Suits
Tragedy
Their Pockets Bulged
Henry the Eighth in Boston Harbor
Harmless
Adolphus
He fairly emptied that Young Fellow
"Alas, our Poor Brother"
"You Bet it is"
Leaking
Making up the "Deffisit"
Going for him
The Doctor
The Bag of Money
The Cubby
Supper with the Hare-Lip
Honest Injun
The Duke looks under the Bed
Huck takes the Money
A Crack in the Dining-room Door
The Undertaker
"He had a Rat!"
"Was you in my Room?"
Jawing
In Trouble
Indignation
How to Find Them
He Wrote
Hannah with the Mumps
The Auction
The True Brothers
The Doctor leads Huck
The Duke Wrote
"Gentlemen, Gentlemen!"
"Jim Lit Out"
The King shakes Huck
The Duke went for Him
Spanish Moss
"Who Nailed Him?"
Thinking
He gave him Ten Cents
Striking for the Back Country
Still and Sunday-like
She hugged him tight
"Who do you reckon it is?"
"It was Tom Sawyer"
"Mr. Archibald Nichols, I presume?"
A pretty long Blessing
Traveling By Rail
Vittles
A Simple Job
Witches
Getting Wood
One of the Best Authorities
The Breakfast-Horn
Smouching the Knives
Going down the Lightning-Rod
Stealing spoons
Tom advises a Witch Pie
The Rubbage-Pile
"Missus, dey's a Sheet Gone"
In a Tearing Way
One of his Ancestors
Jim's Coat of Arms
A Tough Job
Buttons on their Tails
Irrigation
Keeping off Dull Times
Sawdust Diet
Trouble is Brewing
Fishing
Every one had a Gun
Tom caught on a Splinter
Jim advises a Doctor
The Doctor
Uncle Silas in Danger
Old Mrs. Hotchkiss
Aunt Sally talks to Huck
Tom Sawyer wounded
The Doctor speaks for Jim
Tom rose square up in Bed
"Hand out them Letters"
Out of Bondage
Tom's Liberality
Yours Truly
EXPLANATORY
IN this book a number of dialects are used, to wit: the Missouri negro
dialect; the extremest form of the backwoods Southwestern dialect; the
ordinary "Pike County" dialect; and four modified varieties of this
last. The shadings have not been done in a haphazard fashion, or by
guesswork; but painstakingly, and with the trustworthy guidance and
support of personal familiarity with these several forms of speech.
I make this explanation for the reason that without it many readers
would suppose that all these characters were trying to talk alike and
not succeeding.
THE AUTHOR.
HUCKLEBERRY FINN
Scene: The Mississippi Valley Time: Forty to fifty years ago
CHAPTER I.
YOU don't know about me without you have read a book by the name of The
Adventures of Tom Sawyer; but that ain't no matter. That book was made
by Mr. Mark Twain, and he told the truth, mainly. There was things
which he stretched, but mainly he told the truth. That is nothing. I
never seen anybody but lied one time or another, without it was Aunt
Polly, or the widow, or maybe Mary. Aunt Polly--Tom's Aunt Polly, she
is--and Mary, and the Widow Douglas is all told about in that book, which
is mostly a true book, with some stretchers, as I said before.
Now the way that the book winds up is this: Tom and me found the money
that the robbers hid in the cave, and it made us rich. We got six
thousand dollars apiece--all gold. It was an awful sight of money when
it was piled up. Well, Judge Thatcher he took it and put it out
at interest, and it fetched us a dollar a day apiece all the year
round--more than a body could tell what to do with. The Widow Douglas
she took me for her son, and allowed she would sivilize me; but it was
rough living in the house all the time, considering how dismal regular
and decent the widow was in all her ways; and so when I couldn't stand
it no longer I lit out. I got into my old rags and my sugar-hogshead
again, and was free and satisfied. But Tom Sawyer he hunted me up and
said he was going to start a band of robbers, and I might join if I
would go back to the widow and be respectable. So I went back.
The widow she cried over me, and called me a poor lost lamb, and she
called me a lot of other names, too, but she never meant no harm by
it. She put me in them new clothes again, and I couldn't do nothing but
sweat and sweat, and feel all cramped up. Well, then, the old thing
commenced again. The widow rung a bell for supper, and you had to come
to time. When you got to the table you couldn't go right to eating, but
you had to wait for the widow to tuck down her head and grumble a little
over the victuals, though there warn't really anything the matter with
them,--that is, nothing only everything was cooked by itself. In a
barrel of odds and ends it is different; things get mixed up, and the
juice kind of swaps around, and the things go better.
After supper she got out her book and learned me about Moses and the
Bulrushers, and I was in a sweat to find out all about him; but by and
by she let it out that Moses had been dead a considerable long time; so
then I didn't care no more about him, because I don't take no stock in
dead people.
Pretty soon I wanted to smoke, and asked the widow to let me. But she
wouldn't. She said it was a mean practice and wasn't clean, and I must
try to not do it any more. That is just the way with some people. They
get down on a thing when they don't know nothing about it. Here she was
a-bothering about Moses, which was no kin to her, and no use to anybody,
being gone, you see, yet finding a power of fault with me for doing a
thing that had some good in it. And she took snuff, too; of course that
was all right, because she done it herself.
Her sister, Miss Watson, a tolerable slim old maid, with goggles on,
had just come to live with her, and took a set at me now with a
spelling-book. She worked me middling hard for about an hour, and then
the widow made her ease up. I couldn't stood it much longer. Then for
an hour it was deadly dull, and I was fidgety. Miss Watson would say,
"Don't put your feet up there, Huckleberry;" and "Don't scrunch up
like that, Huckleberry--set up straight;" and pretty soon she would
say, "Don't gap and stretch like that, Huckleberry--why don't you try to
behave?" Then she told me all about the bad place, and I said I wished
I was there. She got mad then, but I didn't mean no harm. All I wanted
was to go somewheres; all I wanted was a change, I warn't particular.
She said it was wicked to say what I said; said she wouldn't say it for
the whole world; she was going to live so as to go to the good place.
Well, I couldn't see no advantage in going where she was going, so I
made up my mind I wouldn't try for it. But I never said so, because it
would only make trouble, and wouldn't do no good.
Now she had got a start, and she went on and told me all about the good
place. She said all a body would have to do there was to go around all
day long with a harp and sing, forever and ever. So I didn't think
much of it. But I never said so. I asked her if she reckoned Tom Sawyer
would go there, and she said not by a considerable sight. I was glad
about that, because I wanted him and me to be together.
Miss Watson she kept pecking at me, and it got tiresome and lonesome.
By and by they fetched the niggers in and had prayers, and then
everybody was off to bed. I went up to my room with a piece of candle,
and put it on the table. Then I set down in a chair by the window and
tried to think of something cheerful, but it warn't no use. I felt
so lonesome I most wished I was dead. The stars were shining, and the
leaves rustled in the woods ever so mournful; and I heard an owl, away
off, who-whooing about somebody that was dead, and a whippowill and a
dog crying about somebody that was going to die; and the wind was trying
to whisper something to me, and I couldn't make out what it was, and so
it made the cold shivers run over me. Then away out in the woods I heard
that kind of a sound that a ghost makes when it wants to tell about
something that's on its mind and can't make itself understood, and so
can't rest easy in its grave, and has to go about that way every night
grieving. I got so down-hearted and scared I did wish I had some
company. Pretty soon a spider went crawling up my shoulder, and I
flipped it off and it lit in the candle; and before I could budge it
was all shriveled up. I didn't need anybody to tell me that that was
an awful bad sign and would fetch me some bad luck, so I was scared
and most shook the clothes off of me. I got up and turned around in my
tracks three times and crossed my breast every time; and then I tied
up a little lock of my hair with a thread to keep witches away. But
I hadn't no confidence. You do that when you've lost a horseshoe that
you've found, instead of nailing it up over the door, but I hadn't ever
heard anybody say it was any way to keep off bad luck when you'd killed
a spider.
I set down again, a-shaking all over, and got out my pipe for a smoke;
for the house was all as still as death now, and so the widow wouldn't
know. Well, after a long time I heard the clock away off in the town
go boom--boom--boom--twelve licks; and all still again--stiller than
ever. Pretty soon I heard a twig snap down in the dark amongst the
trees--something was a stirring. I set still and listened. Directly I
could just barely hear a "me-yow! me-yow!" down there. That was good!
Says I, "me-yow! me-yow!" as soft as I could, and then I put out the
light and scrambled out of the window on to the shed. Then I slipped
down to the ground and crawled in among the trees, and, sure enough,
there was Tom Sawyer waiting for me.
CHAPTER II.
WE went tiptoeing along a path amongst the trees back towards the end of
the widow's garden, stooping down so as the branches wouldn't scrape our
heads. When we was passing by the kitchen I fell over a root and made
a noise. We scrouched down and laid still. Miss Watson's big nigger,
named Jim, was setting in the kitchen door; we could see him pretty
clear, because there was a light behind him. He got up and stretched
his neck out about a minute, listening. Then he says:
"Who dah?"
He listened some more; then he come tiptoeing down and stood right
between us; we could a touched him, nearly. Well, likely it was
minutes and minutes that there warn't a sound, and we all there so close
together. There was a place on my ankle that got to itching, but I
dasn't scratch it; and then my ear begun to itch; and next my back,
right between my shoulders. Seemed like I'd die if I couldn't scratch.
Well, I've noticed that thing plenty times since. If you are with
the quality, or at a funeral, or trying to go to sleep when you ain't
sleepy--if you are anywheres where it won't do for you to scratch, why
you will itch all over in upwards of a thousand places. Pretty soon Jim
says:
"Say, who is you? Whar is you? Dog my cats ef I didn' hear sumf'n.
Well, I know what I's gwyne to do: I's gwyne to set down here and
listen tell I hears it agin."
So he set down on the ground betwixt me and Tom. He leaned his back up
against a tree, and stretched his legs out till one of them most touched
one of mine. My nose begun to itch. It itched till the tears come into
my eyes. But I dasn't scratch. Then it begun to itch on the inside.
Next I got to itching underneath. I didn't know how I was going to set
still. This miserableness went on as much as six or seven minutes; but
it seemed a sight longer than that. I was itching in eleven different
places now. I reckoned I couldn't stand it more'n a minute longer,
but I set my teeth hard and got ready to try. Just then Jim begun
to breathe heavy; next he begun to snore--and then I was pretty soon
comfortable again.
Tom he made a sign to me--kind of a little noise with his mouth--and we
went creeping away on our hands and knees. When we was ten foot off Tom
whispered to me, and wanted to tie Jim to the tree for fun. But I said
no; he might wake and make a disturbance, and then they'd find out I
warn't in. Then Tom said he hadn't got candles enough, and he would slip
in the kitchen and get some more. I didn't want him to try. I said Jim
might wake up and come. But Tom wanted to resk it; so we slid in there
and got three candles, and Tom laid five cents on the table for pay.
Then we got out, and I was in a sweat to get away; but nothing would do
Tom but he must crawl to where Jim was, on his hands and knees, and play
something on him. I waited, and it seemed a good while, everything was
so still and lonesome.
As soon as Tom was back we cut along the path, around the garden fence,
and by and by fetched up on the steep top of the hill the other side of
the house. Tom said he slipped Jim's hat off of his head and hung it
on a limb right over him, and Jim stirred a little, but he didn't wake.
Afterwards Jim said the witches be witched him and put him in a trance,
and rode him all over the State, and then set him under the trees again,
and hung his hat on a limb to show who done it. And next time Jim told
it he said they rode him down to New Orleans; and, after that, every
time he told it he spread it more and more, till by and by he said they
rode him all over the world, and tired him most to death, and his back
was all over saddle-boils. Jim was monstrous proud about it, and he
got so he wouldn't hardly notice the other niggers. Niggers would come
miles to hear Jim tell about it, and he was more looked up to than any
nigger in that country. Strange niggers would stand with their mouths
open and look him all over, same as if he was a wonder. Niggers is
always talking about witches in the dark by the kitchen fire; but
whenever one was talking and letting on to know all about such things,
Jim would happen in and say, "Hm! What you know 'bout witches?" and
that nigger was corked up and had to take a back seat. Jim always kept
that five-center piece round his neck with a string, and said it was a
charm the devil give to him with his own hands, and told him he could
cure anybody with it and fetch witches whenever he wanted to just by
saying something to it; but he never told what it was he said to it.
Niggers would come from all around there and give Jim anything they
had, just for a sight of that five-center piece; but they wouldn't touch
it, because the devil had had his hands on it. Jim was most ruined for
a servant, because he got stuck up on account of having seen the devil
and been rode by witches.
Well, when Tom and me got to the edge of the hilltop we looked away down
into the village and could see three or four lights twinkling, where
there was sick folks, maybe; and the stars over us was sparkling ever
so fine; and down by the village was the river, a whole mile broad, and
awful still and grand. We went down the hill and found Jo Harper and
Ben Rogers, and two or three more of the boys, hid in the old tanyard.
So we unhitched a skiff and pulled down the river two mile and a half,
to the big scar on the hillside, and went ashore.
We went to a clump of bushes, and Tom made everybody swear to keep the
secret, and then showed them a hole in the hill, right in the thickest
part of the bushes. Then we lit the candles, and crawled in on our
hands and knees. We went about two hundred yards, and then the cave
opened up. Tom poked about amongst the passages, and pretty soon ducked
under a wall where you wouldn't a noticed that there was a hole. We
went along a narrow place and got into a kind of room, all damp and
sweaty and cold, and there we stopped. Tom says:
"Now, we'll start this band of robbers and call it Tom Sawyer's Gang.
Everybody that wants to join has got to take an oath, and write his name
in blood."
Everybody was willing. So Tom got out a sheet of paper that he had
wrote the oath on, and read it. It swore every boy to stick to the
band, and never tell any of the secrets; and if anybody done anything to
any boy in the band, whichever boy was ordered to kill that person and
his family must do it, and he mustn't eat and he mustn't sleep till he
had killed them and hacked a cross in their breasts, which was the sign
of the band. And nobody that didn't belong to the band could use that
mark, and if he did he must be sued; and if he done it again he must be
killed. And if anybody that belonged to the band told the secrets, he
must have his throat cut, and then have his carcass burnt up and the
ashes scattered all around, and his name blotted off of the list with
blood and never mentioned again by the gang, but have a curse put on it
and be forgot forever.
Everybody said it was a real beautiful oath, and asked Tom if he got
it out of his own head. He said, some of it, but the rest was out of
pirate-books and robber-books, and every gang that was high-toned had
it.
Some thought it would be good to kill the _families_ of boys that told
the secrets. Tom said it was a good idea, so he took a pencil and wrote
it in. Then Ben Rogers says:
"Here's Huck Finn, he hain't got no family; what you going to do 'bout
him?"
"Well, hain't he got a father?" says Tom Sawyer.
"Yes, he's got a father, but you can't never find him these days. He
used to lay drunk with the hogs in the tanyard, but he hain't been seen
in these parts for a year or more."
They talked it over, and they was going to rule me out, because they
said every boy must have a family or somebody to kill, or else it
wouldn't be fair and square for the others. Well, nobody could think of
anything to do--everybody was stumped, and set still. I was most ready
to cry; but all at once I thought of a way, and so I offered them Miss
Watson--they could kill her. Everybody said:
"Oh, she'll do. That's all right. Huck can come in."
Then they all stuck a pin in their fingers to get blood to sign with,
and I made my mark on the paper.
"Now," says Ben Rogers, "what's the line of business of this Gang?"
"Nothing only robbery and murder," Tom said.
"But who are we going to rob?--houses, or cattle, or--"
"Stuff! stealing cattle and such things ain't robbery; it's burglary,"
says Tom Sawyer. "We ain't burglars. That ain't no sort of style. We
are highwaymen. We stop stages and carriages on the road, with masks
on, and kill the people and take their watches and money."
"Must we always kill the people?"
"Oh, certainly. It's best. Some authorities think different, but
mostly it's considered best to kill them--except some that you bring to
the cave here, and keep them till they're ransomed."
"Ransomed? What's that?"
"I don't know. But that's what they do. I've seen it in books; and so
of course that's what we've got to do."
"But how can we do it if we don't know what it is?"
"Why, blame it all, we've _got_ to do it. Don't I tell you it's in the
books? Do you want to go to doing different from what's in the books,
and get things all muddled up?"
"Oh, that's all very fine to _say_, Tom Sawyer, but how in the nation
are these fellows going to be ransomed if we don't know how to do it
to them?--that's the thing I want to get at. Now, what do you reckon it
is?"
"Well, I don't know. But per'aps if we keep them till they're ransomed,
it means that we keep them till they're dead."
"Now, that's something _like_. That'll answer. Why couldn't you said
that before? We'll keep them till they're ransomed to death; and a
bothersome lot they'll be, too--eating up everything, and always trying
to get loose."
"How you talk, Ben Rogers. How can they get loose when there's a guard
over them, ready to shoot them down if they move a peg?"
"A guard! Well, that _is_ good. So somebody's got to set up all night
and never get any sleep, just so as to watch them. I think that's
foolishness. Why can't a body take a club and ransom them as soon as
they get here?"
"Because it ain't in the books so--that's why. Now, Ben Rogers, do you
want to do things regular, or don't you?--that's the idea. Don't you
reckon that the people that made the books knows what's the correct
thing to do? Do you reckon _you_ can learn 'em anything? Not by a good
deal. No, sir, we'll just go on and ransom them in the regular way."
"All right. I don't mind; but I say it's a fool way, anyhow. Say, do
we kill the women, too?"
"Well, Ben Rogers, if I was as ignorant as you I wouldn't let on. Kill
the women? No; nobody ever saw anything in the books like that. You
fetch them to the cave, and you're always as polite as pie to them;
and by and by they fall in love with you, and never want to go home any
more."
"Well, if that's the way I'm agreed, but I don't take no stock in it.
Mighty soon we'll have the cave so cluttered up with women, and fellows
waiting to be ransomed, that there won't be no place for the robbers.
But go ahead, I ain't got nothing to say."
Little Tommy Barnes was asleep now, and when they waked him up he was
scared, and cried, and said he wanted to go home to his ma, and didn't
want to be a robber any more.
So they all made fun of him, and called him cry-baby, and that made him
mad, and he said he would go straight and tell all the secrets. But
Tom give him five cents to keep quiet, and said we would all go home and
meet next week, and rob somebody and kill some people.
Ben Rogers said he couldn't get out much, only Sundays, and so he wanted
to begin next Sunday; but all the boys said it would be wicked to do it
on Sunday, and that settled the thing. They agreed to get together and
fix a day as soon as they could, and then we elected Tom Sawyer first
captain and Jo Harper second captain of the Gang, and so started home.
I clumb up the shed and crept into my window just before day was
breaking. My new clothes was all greased up and clayey, and I was
dog-tired.
CHAPTER III.
WELL, I got a good going-over in the morning from old Miss Watson on
account of my clothes; but the widow she didn't scold, but only cleaned
off the grease and clay, and looked so sorry that I thought I would
behave awhile if I could. Then Miss Watson she took me in the closet
and prayed, but nothing come of it. She told me to pray every day, and
whatever I asked for I would get it. But it warn't so. I tried it.
Once I got a fish-line, but no hooks. It warn't any good to me without
hooks. I tried for the hooks three or four times, but somehow I
couldn't make it work. By and by, one day, I asked Miss Watson to
try for me, but she said I was a fool. She never told me why, and I
couldn't make it out no way.
I set down one time back in the woods, and had a long think about it.
I says to myself, if a body can get anything they pray for, why don't
Deacon Winn get back the money he lost on pork? Why can't the widow get
back her silver snuffbox that was stole? Why can't Miss Watson fat up?
No, says I to my self, there ain't nothing in it. I went and told the
widow about it, and she said the thing a body could get by praying for
it was "spiritual gifts." This was too many for me, but she told me
what she meant--I must help other people, and do everything I could for
other people, and look out for them all the time, and never think about
myself. This was including Miss Watson, as I took it. I went out in the
woods and turned it over in my mind a long time, but I couldn't see no
advantage about it--except for the other people; so at last I reckoned
I wouldn't worry about it any more, but just let it go. Sometimes the
widow would take me one side and talk about Providence in a way to make
a body's mouth water; but maybe next day Miss Watson would take hold
and knock it all down again. I judged I could see that there was two
Providences, and a poor chap would stand considerable show with the
widow's Providence, but if Miss Watson's got him there warn't no help
for him any more. I thought it all out, and reckoned I would belong
to the widow's if he wanted me, though I couldn't make out how he was
a-going to be any better off then than what he was before, seeing I was
so ignorant, and so kind of low-down and ornery.
Pap he hadn't been seen for more than a year, and that was comfortable
for me; I didn't want to see him no more. He used to always whale me
when he was sober and could get his hands on me; though I used to take
to the woods most of the time when he was around. Well, about this time
he was found in the river drownded, about twelve mile above town, so
people said. They judged it was him, anyway; said this drownded man was
just his size, and was ragged, and had uncommon long hair, which was all
like pap; but they couldn't make nothing out of the face, because it had
been in the water so long it warn't much like a face at all. They said
he was floating on his back in the water. They took him and buried him
on the bank. But I warn't comfortable long, because I happened to think
of something. I knowed mighty well that a drownded man don't float on
his back, but on his face. So I knowed, then, that this warn't pap, but
a woman dressed up in a man's clothes. So I was uncomfortable again.
I judged the old man would turn up again by and by, though I wished he
wouldn't.
We played robber now and then about a month, and then I resigned. All
the boys did. We hadn't robbed nobody, hadn't killed any people, but
only just pretended. We used to hop out of the woods and go charging
down on hog-drivers and women in carts taking garden stuff to market,
but we never hived any of them. Tom Sawyer called the hogs "ingots,"
and he called the turnips and stuff "julery," and we would go to the
cave and powwow over what we had done, and how many people we had killed
and marked. But I couldn't see no profit in it. One time Tom sent a
boy to run about town with a blazing stick, which he called a slogan
(which was the sign for the Gang to get together), and then he said he
had got secret news by his spies that next day a whole parcel of Spanish